Not Me | 75th Blog

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No, don’t think too much. It is me, Bareen!

Don’t confuse yourself into thinking which product/ brand I’m going to talk about because today it’s not your beauty guru B13 talking, it is going to be Bareen, coming bare in front of you.

This place has always been dedicated to one sole topic and that is all about Beauty and Fashion. I have never spoken about myself here, maybe because I’m comfortable talking about other stuff than me or I’m just too shy to open up. Whatever the reason might be, being this my 75th page of this beauty diary which I call mine, I thought of going personal.

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So the reason of this blog is, past few days I’m very depressed ( ya! my life isn’t as perfect as it seems). I haven’t been depressed for a long long time. I suffered from severe depression few years back and I thought I overcame it and I was happy but then suddenly, it wasn’t the same merry kingdom of mine. Most of the time, I don’t even know what’s troubling me so much that I have to gasp for air. I go cold as my heart feels weak to pump blood up my throat. My body feels numb and the smallest things makes me throw tantrums.

And no! I’m not PMSing if you think.

These past years, all I’m trying is to be motivational and spread good vibes but now I’m the one feeling demotivated. This is not a sympathy call whatsoever. You can say I’m overreacting because I feel the same. But I know and I’m sure that I’m not the only one who feels this. I know most of the time people wont get you and how you feel. But I’m here for you. I want you to know, even if there is no one around you to listen, I’ll be there! I know it’s hard to open up and that too to someone unknown. But I personally feel good sharing to someone unknown as they won’t judge me and I might never even meet them.

Also, I wrote a poem as nothing else seemed to work and words have always been my companion. So if you don’t mind:

It was going good!
And by it, I mean Life.
I know they say,
'Life is not a bed of roses,
There will be falls and there will be rises.'

But I was on the happy chapter
Where everything was almost perfect,
where I was Myself, I suspect.
And then the Life happened.
Ghosts of the past that haunted.
I had forgotten the pain in the chest,
I know my heart was at a rest.
All it did then was beat
But now it seems it's gone weak.

I feel cold sometimes.
Need someone to hold sometimes.
And cry my heart out,
But how can I, when I don't have the pain figured out.
Everyone now around me is mad,
Because I'm acting weird,
And it's all making me more feared.
I know I might sound crazy,
But everything in my head is hazy.

All I hope is to end this terror,
I know I'll soon get better.

Sorry if I spoiled your mood with this sad talk but I wrote it so that you could reach out to me. Comment down anonymous or send me a mail. I promise I won’t judge you or disclose your identity. I just want to be the person with whom you can share your pain and feel lightened. I have this platform but most don’t.

Hope you find this helpful. I know depression and it can be very bad. Just open up and be happy! As I did.

Your friend, Bareen.


 

26 thoughts on “Not Me | 75th Blog”

  1. Read it with some feeling I really don’t know how to express. I just wanna say one thing: “Even I will be there for you when you need a person”.
    Be the strongest girl you are!!
    Loads of loveโคโค

  2. Love to see your brave attitude. Actually people don’t get this much courage to say, “I feel cold sometimes”. Bareen I’d also get through the phase of depression. It stayed almost two years. I handled it on my own. No one there to hold my hand. But I have overcome. Now I’ve stuck with, but that doesn’t stay much. Yes, I haven’t mailed you as anonymous cz I don’t think to be depressed is any crime. So, my brave girl, I do salute you, your spiri. Don’t feel alone. I’m there to hold your hand.

  3. Totally Loved this blog of yours! Touching words. Great thoughts. Beautiful Poem. Just loved it. Way awesome!๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ’• #StayStrong #StayHappy #YouAreNotAlone

  4. This one was really different from all your other blogs & as usual I loved this one too. Here you said you are there to listen to everyone & not judge them & similarly we are their to give you a ear when you want to open your heart our. And promise that we won’t judge u. We are there right here whenever you fell low or depressed. Love you Bareen & hatts off to your courage. Xoxo ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’™

  5. I think everyone is certainly facing Depression this day for one reason or no reason i should say. I want to say only one thing to you if you ever need be me, I will be there for you. Thanks for this beautiful post. I think i can totally relate to that. There are so many i feel like this but Don have courage to tell. But you are the stronger person and love you for that. Very motivational and inspiring for those who are suffering from ” Depression “.

  6. I had been following you on Instagram. It was great to see a girl from Ratnagiri breaking stereotypes. Everyone goes through lean phases in his/her life. It is better to acknowledge that, then it is possible to move forward. And I am sure you will do the same. Wishing more power to you.

    Upendra Bapat

  7. Thank you for this bold step. Not many people talk about this. You are not alone Bareen…
    I’ve been suffering from depression and this post was deep. Every single line!
    More power to you and bear hugs to the cat lady ๐Ÿ˜ป

  8. Sabki life me ye phrase aata hi hai, sab apne tarike se handle karty hain ….aap bahut brave ho aur ab to hum sab bhi aapke sath hain ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

  9. I can understand depression very well as I too going through that. I can relate to every single line in the poem. I wish to say don’t think you are alone. There are so many of us there for you ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Hะตllo! I’ve been reading your web site for a long time now
    and finallาฏ got the courage to go ahead ษ‘nd give you a shout oีฝt from Lubbock
    Texas! Jีฝst wanted to say keep up the fantastic work!

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